click HERE.
very funny!!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
of friendships, handphones, creeps and church again
i watched "crossroads" last night. yes, the britney spears movie. it was actually not that bad. apart from britney's absolutely annoying voice. she's one of those singers that her speaking voice is tolerable, but after too much singing...*cringe*
anyway, i'm not gonna talk too much about the movie per se. while i was watching it, i was reflecting on my own state of friendships. me, sumi, dhui and poh lin. two years ago...we were like those 3 in the movie. really tight, friends forever. and now...we've like, scattered. those 3 friends scattered so much that their personalities were in total different social classes. one was the class nerd, one was the odd ball, the other was the prom queen. imagine. and it's like...sad that over the years, what we wished would last forever, all those friendships and memories, feelings, they just disintegrate and vanish as time goes by. oh crap, guess what my media player is playing now. "goodbye" by the spice girls. how apt. anyway, ya, it's sad. i think of those friends like jac, zhengying, chinlin...if i see zhengying now, she's practically a total stranger to me. know what i mean? how poignantly sad it is when friendships just vanish. they don't break apart or be blown apart or whatever. it's just, over the years, lack of contact, neglect of the relationship...and suddenly, your best friend 10 years ago becomes a stranger.
sometimes i think about those people who were friends to me but not anymore. wonder what happens in their life now. there's a girl in uni, i've seen her around. we used to be friends in primary school where we parted after graduating. now, i pass by her like a stranger. i don't know if she remembers me. but i remember her. sometimes i'm scared that it's gonna happen again. i know it's happening again. me and jacqueline are in the process. sumi, if we continue as we are, it will happen too. i guess this is the nature of relationships. having no boyfriend, i can only analyse relationships from girlfriends perspectives. it's so true that relationships need a lot of work. i still keep up with chinlin and jac through their blogs. but ask me to have a personal conversation with them like 10 years ago, and i can't anymore. we've all moved on from that stage of our life and relationships from that stage. all because we never worked to keep up the relationship and friendship.
anyway, moving on. i saw jasmine's blog. i owe the girls some photos. here ya go!
pictures the 3 proud motorola owners took at starbucks with my samsung. :D
moving on again. last night. choir was a disaster. it was a disaster that never happened before. it was supposed to be tenor sectionals. they never showed up. i hung around till 8. then andrew appeared to learn his psalm. taught him his psalm. 8.30. they didn't show up. so, left. i forgot to reiterate my threat to them today. sick and tired of having to nag them so much.
today's mass was disasterous too. 5 seconds before mass was supposed to start, there was no animator. i saw aunty agnes there so i went and asked her where's the animator. so she's like, "there's no animator? you all do it lah." *rolls eyes* she's the bloody lector, not us. this is probably one of the reasons why the youth are so sick of the church. i'll talk more on that later. tian was playing today for the first time. for her first time, she made it ok through the first half of the mass. then, disaster struck from thanksgiving onwards. firstly, she forgot to do the intro for "seek ye first". but that was ok cos the rest of the song went well. the worst disaster was the recessional "prayer of st francis". i made the mistake of assuming that she was familiar with the song. so we didn't rehearse it. partly cos the choir all turned up LATE again. so, she didn't know the flow of the song. and so disaster. i don't really want to relive it. but it was partly my fault, i'd admit. learn my lesson, move on.
scary experience at church yesterday. the side staircase is closed now. so for the first time, i entered the church by the new staircase. the lights were off at the top of the stairs. which would have been ok, if not for an opening into a room by the side of the staircase. and that room was pitchblack. it was so scary. imagine...that kind of room that got scary things that jump out at you. and then! got away from the room, was trying to on the light only to find that...the light didn't work. had to pass by the old staircase also. it was boarded up with something, in the dark i couldn't see. but just imagine the scene. suddenly there's a void in front of you. in the dark. but...being brave, i walked on to the main church hall. i step on something soft when going through the doorway. *cringe* reassures myself that it's probably construction stuff that they put on the floor (it is a rubber mat, i found out later). as i enter the church hall, i'm disoriented for a minute for some reason. the mary statue is missing from it's usual place. there's a sillouette of the st anthony statue in the back that's clearly showing up. no details, just the shadow outline. i rush to the light switch, praying that it works. in the second before i on the switch, i see a shadow figure on the altar also. @.@ quickly turns on the switch and is SO relieved when the light goes on. the thing on the altar was the mary statue. first time in my 20 years in the church that i've seen it outside of it's niche. it just doesn't look right somehow. anyway, then, i'm ok, with the light on. i on the organ to practice. the light is not very strong btw, so a lot of the church is still in shadow. so, i'm playing...and fr khoo appears out of nowhere behind me. &.& anyway, thank god, he goes to the sacristy and turns on more lights. but not all the lights, just those in the choir area. now, i'm back to my playing and constantly reassuring myself that this is a church and there are no ghosts gonna pop out and scare me in a church. meanwhile, i'm playing "blest are you lord". fyi, it's kinda minor key type of song. and i *think* i hear whistling, someone whistling the song. *.* tries to convince myself that it's just feedback from the organ. anyway, thank god, andrew showed up very soon after that and suggested that it was someone downstairs who heard me playing and was whistling along. geez. i was never so scared before in church.
back to why the youth maybe sick of the church. my own experience. they're wearing us way too thin. making us do everything that needs doing in the church. now, i'm handling choir. i'm also secretary to whatever they need someone to be secretary to that i happen to be attending. i just finished doing the poster for music ministry recruitment (kinda proud of that one tho). khoo announced that there's a retreat for PPC exco members next sunday. i was asked to go for that also. I AM PART OF MUSIC MINISTRY. I AM NOT PART OF PPC EXCO. I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BEING PART OF PPC EXCO. and, as demonstrated earlier, we're expected to double up as lectors also. any work needs to be done, "the youths will do it!" *rolls eyes* simply put, they're expecting so much of us. joseph once suggested that i should become a missionary, since i do so much church work and want to travel. lol!
fk gave a long lecture recently about doing stuff and not accepting thanks cos once you accept thanks, the merits that came from the doing is lost. *rolls eyes again* to quote that poster i saw "one cannot survive on a diet of hope." i'm so ready to throw in the towel if i have the chance. that's the worse part. i feel insignificant. fk still can't get my last name correct. he called me irene lee, irene wong. never my name. and it's not like i didn't correct him the first time he called me irene lee. it's like, i already do a lot for the church, and you still don't know my name?!!!?! same with all the others. no one knows that i've taken over from dawn since the beginning of the year. people still think that i took over from verena. they see me at meetings and assume that i'm representing the youths. and that's another problem. cos everyone BUT fk sees the 10am choir as the youth choir. Jubilate is the youth choir. 10am choir is the one that fk dreams about. and i don't know which to side with. i don't want to offend either side. :p a nice dilemna we have here. never mind. it's a problem that will remain as long as the stereotype of the 10am choir remains. he's got one and a half years more. time to start doing countdown. ^.^
alrighty. time to stop wasting time and get back to work. still got MA2101 homework, EL2151 project, MA1102 tutorial to work through. that's not counting my non-academic stuff like the nus choir and Jubilate stuff. where does the time go?
mood: don't know.
listening to: show me your glory - third day
anyway, i'm not gonna talk too much about the movie per se. while i was watching it, i was reflecting on my own state of friendships. me, sumi, dhui and poh lin. two years ago...we were like those 3 in the movie. really tight, friends forever. and now...we've like, scattered. those 3 friends scattered so much that their personalities were in total different social classes. one was the class nerd, one was the odd ball, the other was the prom queen. imagine. and it's like...sad that over the years, what we wished would last forever, all those friendships and memories, feelings, they just disintegrate and vanish as time goes by. oh crap, guess what my media player is playing now. "goodbye" by the spice girls. how apt. anyway, ya, it's sad. i think of those friends like jac, zhengying, chinlin...if i see zhengying now, she's practically a total stranger to me. know what i mean? how poignantly sad it is when friendships just vanish. they don't break apart or be blown apart or whatever. it's just, over the years, lack of contact, neglect of the relationship...and suddenly, your best friend 10 years ago becomes a stranger.
sometimes i think about those people who were friends to me but not anymore. wonder what happens in their life now. there's a girl in uni, i've seen her around. we used to be friends in primary school where we parted after graduating. now, i pass by her like a stranger. i don't know if she remembers me. but i remember her. sometimes i'm scared that it's gonna happen again. i know it's happening again. me and jacqueline are in the process. sumi, if we continue as we are, it will happen too. i guess this is the nature of relationships. having no boyfriend, i can only analyse relationships from girlfriends perspectives. it's so true that relationships need a lot of work. i still keep up with chinlin and jac through their blogs. but ask me to have a personal conversation with them like 10 years ago, and i can't anymore. we've all moved on from that stage of our life and relationships from that stage. all because we never worked to keep up the relationship and friendship.
anyway, moving on. i saw jasmine's blog. i owe the girls some photos. here ya go!
pictures the 3 proud motorola owners took at starbucks with my samsung. :Dmoving on again. last night. choir was a disaster. it was a disaster that never happened before. it was supposed to be tenor sectionals. they never showed up. i hung around till 8. then andrew appeared to learn his psalm. taught him his psalm. 8.30. they didn't show up. so, left. i forgot to reiterate my threat to them today. sick and tired of having to nag them so much.
today's mass was disasterous too. 5 seconds before mass was supposed to start, there was no animator. i saw aunty agnes there so i went and asked her where's the animator. so she's like, "there's no animator? you all do it lah." *rolls eyes* she's the bloody lector, not us. this is probably one of the reasons why the youth are so sick of the church. i'll talk more on that later. tian was playing today for the first time. for her first time, she made it ok through the first half of the mass. then, disaster struck from thanksgiving onwards. firstly, she forgot to do the intro for "seek ye first". but that was ok cos the rest of the song went well. the worst disaster was the recessional "prayer of st francis". i made the mistake of assuming that she was familiar with the song. so we didn't rehearse it. partly cos the choir all turned up LATE again. so, she didn't know the flow of the song. and so disaster. i don't really want to relive it. but it was partly my fault, i'd admit. learn my lesson, move on.
scary experience at church yesterday. the side staircase is closed now. so for the first time, i entered the church by the new staircase. the lights were off at the top of the stairs. which would have been ok, if not for an opening into a room by the side of the staircase. and that room was pitchblack. it was so scary. imagine...that kind of room that got scary things that jump out at you. and then! got away from the room, was trying to on the light only to find that...the light didn't work. had to pass by the old staircase also. it was boarded up with something, in the dark i couldn't see. but just imagine the scene. suddenly there's a void in front of you. in the dark. but...being brave, i walked on to the main church hall. i step on something soft when going through the doorway. *cringe* reassures myself that it's probably construction stuff that they put on the floor (it is a rubber mat, i found out later). as i enter the church hall, i'm disoriented for a minute for some reason. the mary statue is missing from it's usual place. there's a sillouette of the st anthony statue in the back that's clearly showing up. no details, just the shadow outline. i rush to the light switch, praying that it works. in the second before i on the switch, i see a shadow figure on the altar also. @.@ quickly turns on the switch and is SO relieved when the light goes on. the thing on the altar was the mary statue. first time in my 20 years in the church that i've seen it outside of it's niche. it just doesn't look right somehow. anyway, then, i'm ok, with the light on. i on the organ to practice. the light is not very strong btw, so a lot of the church is still in shadow. so, i'm playing...and fr khoo appears out of nowhere behind me. &.& anyway, thank god, he goes to the sacristy and turns on more lights. but not all the lights, just those in the choir area. now, i'm back to my playing and constantly reassuring myself that this is a church and there are no ghosts gonna pop out and scare me in a church. meanwhile, i'm playing "blest are you lord". fyi, it's kinda minor key type of song. and i *think* i hear whistling, someone whistling the song. *.* tries to convince myself that it's just feedback from the organ. anyway, thank god, andrew showed up very soon after that and suggested that it was someone downstairs who heard me playing and was whistling along. geez. i was never so scared before in church.
back to why the youth maybe sick of the church. my own experience. they're wearing us way too thin. making us do everything that needs doing in the church. now, i'm handling choir. i'm also secretary to whatever they need someone to be secretary to that i happen to be attending. i just finished doing the poster for music ministry recruitment (kinda proud of that one tho). khoo announced that there's a retreat for PPC exco members next sunday. i was asked to go for that also. I AM PART OF MUSIC MINISTRY. I AM NOT PART OF PPC EXCO. I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BEING PART OF PPC EXCO. and, as demonstrated earlier, we're expected to double up as lectors also. any work needs to be done, "the youths will do it!" *rolls eyes* simply put, they're expecting so much of us. joseph once suggested that i should become a missionary, since i do so much church work and want to travel. lol!
fk gave a long lecture recently about doing stuff and not accepting thanks cos once you accept thanks, the merits that came from the doing is lost. *rolls eyes again* to quote that poster i saw "one cannot survive on a diet of hope." i'm so ready to throw in the towel if i have the chance. that's the worse part. i feel insignificant. fk still can't get my last name correct. he called me irene lee, irene wong. never my name. and it's not like i didn't correct him the first time he called me irene lee. it's like, i already do a lot for the church, and you still don't know my name?!!!?! same with all the others. no one knows that i've taken over from dawn since the beginning of the year. people still think that i took over from verena. they see me at meetings and assume that i'm representing the youths. and that's another problem. cos everyone BUT fk sees the 10am choir as the youth choir. Jubilate is the youth choir. 10am choir is the one that fk dreams about. and i don't know which to side with. i don't want to offend either side. :p a nice dilemna we have here. never mind. it's a problem that will remain as long as the stereotype of the 10am choir remains. he's got one and a half years more. time to start doing countdown. ^.^
alrighty. time to stop wasting time and get back to work. still got MA2101 homework, EL2151 project, MA1102 tutorial to work through. that's not counting my non-academic stuff like the nus choir and Jubilate stuff. where does the time go?
mood: don't know.
listening to: show me your glory - third day
Saturday, October 14, 2006
stuff i forgot to mention
the haze was bad last saturday. not pretty bad or quite bad. it was VERY VERY VERY bad. the psi went up so high. i never remembered it ever being this high before. the smoke everywhere. it was like being up on a mountain, except that mist on a mountain doesn't smell quite as bad. i was surprised when i came out of LT3 on a hill. everywhere else was misty. wondering what had happened. but it was the haze. last saturday, fonz's dad gave us a lift back from church cos it was way too bad to be walking around unprotected in it. it's times like these, the church needs to get air-con. and you know what? even in the midst of all that smoke, people are still smoking! i feel like modifying ty's method of saying "lung cancer" very loudly at them. modify to say, "wah, the haze VERY bad today ah...a lot of smoke in the air." can't understand them. what for still need to smoke? got free smoke in the air liao. ;D
last sunday was fr khoo's 66th bdae dinner. he gave choir a table. it was ok. the haze had cleared for that night. thank god. can you imagine sitting in the smoke trying to eat? downright unhealthy. anyway, the dinner...was kinda routine lah. the band was not bad. the singing was passable. reminded me a little of reso. that ang moh girl was the only really enthu one of the set. there were auctions held, largely by fr paul auctioning off wines. there was also auction of 3D2N stay with fr paul at pandan gardens. haha! the winning bid was $1000. not bad. some KARAOKE QUEENS got up to sing cantonese songs. fr khoo tried to sing "pass it on". it was horrific. click HERE to watch it if you dare. (the quality's VERY bad. hp wasn't very powerful.) ruben got up to sing the birthday song. nice voice he has, for a kid, like his sister.
and to end off, i managed to get hold of clay's 'bonus' itunes song LOVER ALL ALONE. the lyrics are so sad. apparently clay wrote (or co-wrote) the lyrics. i really wonder what happened that inspired him to write these lyrics:
Maybe I've convinced myself I've really been in love
And I've been wrong
All along
For all I know the feeling and the picture that I tried so hard to find isn't mine
Could be it's all just a waiting game
Wanna share my everything
And on my own
It's hard to tell my heart it'll be alright
That this love it holds will one day find a home
As hard as love can be, it's harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone
Without love
Picking up the pieces makes me wonder if I only build it all
To watch it fall
The faster it can go away it means the less of me is gone to stay
And I'm okay
But lonesome
Tomorrow comes anyway
I'm alone for another day
Another day
And on my own
It's hard to tell my heart it'll be alright
That this love it holds will one day find a home
As hard as love can be, it's harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone
Without love
And on my own
It's hard to tell my heart it'll be alright
That this love it holds will one day find a home
As hard as love can be, it's harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone
Without love
Maybe I've convinced myself I've really been in love
But I've been wrong
All along.
mood: guilty (should be studying)
listening to: braveheart theme - enya
last sunday was fr khoo's 66th bdae dinner. he gave choir a table. it was ok. the haze had cleared for that night. thank god. can you imagine sitting in the smoke trying to eat? downright unhealthy. anyway, the dinner...was kinda routine lah. the band was not bad. the singing was passable. reminded me a little of reso. that ang moh girl was the only really enthu one of the set. there were auctions held, largely by fr paul auctioning off wines. there was also auction of 3D2N stay with fr paul at pandan gardens. haha! the winning bid was $1000. not bad. some KARAOKE QUEENS got up to sing cantonese songs. fr khoo tried to sing "pass it on". it was horrific. click HERE to watch it if you dare. (the quality's VERY bad. hp wasn't very powerful.) ruben got up to sing the birthday song. nice voice he has, for a kid, like his sister.
and to end off, i managed to get hold of clay's 'bonus' itunes song LOVER ALL ALONE. the lyrics are so sad. apparently clay wrote (or co-wrote) the lyrics. i really wonder what happened that inspired him to write these lyrics:
Maybe I've convinced myself I've really been in love
And I've been wrong
All along
For all I know the feeling and the picture that I tried so hard to find isn't mine
Could be it's all just a waiting game
Wanna share my everything
And on my own
It's hard to tell my heart it'll be alright
That this love it holds will one day find a home
As hard as love can be, it's harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone
Without love
Picking up the pieces makes me wonder if I only build it all
To watch it fall
The faster it can go away it means the less of me is gone to stay
And I'm okay
But lonesome
Tomorrow comes anyway
I'm alone for another day
Another day
And on my own
It's hard to tell my heart it'll be alright
That this love it holds will one day find a home
As hard as love can be, it's harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone
Without love
And on my own
It's hard to tell my heart it'll be alright
That this love it holds will one day find a home
As hard as love can be, it's harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone
Without love
Maybe I've convinced myself I've really been in love
But I've been wrong
All along.
mood: guilty (should be studying)
listening to: braveheart theme - enya
Friday, October 13, 2006
just updating for the sake of updating
so here i am again. at the start of the weekend with lots of stuff looming to do but no incentive to do it. so...what's been happening with my week...
well, not going for that work and travel US thing. :p parents don't allow. :( wat to do? like that lor. life's like that. still going to try for SEP though.
EL2151 midterm on wednesday. i didn't study much. so, thank goodness for my A1 in GP. i knew the skills would come in handy someday. even though it is complete crap that i wrote. biological factors, i wrote autism as an eg. crap.
passed MA2101 midterm. got 58%. ok lah. at least pass. the MA2101 homework, the idiot tutor almost gave me 10. then for some weird reason, he decided to change his mind and gave me 9. :p
finally got round to seeing raj about the choir equipment. it's done. he's satisfied with the equipment liao. but i think we're still missing 2 pitchpipes that CFA doesn't know about. so...still got tracking to do in the history of NUS choir.
after one hour of talking crap, fk has finally given his decree regarding midnight mass. we're to do a combined choir. i guess we can do that. i feel overwhelmed when i think of this coming december. i don't know where to start. i don't know what needs to be done. :p
er...what else? don't think there's anything. boring life. can't think.
mood: sianz
listening to: o holy night - celine dion
well, not going for that work and travel US thing. :p parents don't allow. :( wat to do? like that lor. life's like that. still going to try for SEP though.
EL2151 midterm on wednesday. i didn't study much. so, thank goodness for my A1 in GP. i knew the skills would come in handy someday. even though it is complete crap that i wrote. biological factors, i wrote autism as an eg. crap.
passed MA2101 midterm. got 58%. ok lah. at least pass. the MA2101 homework, the idiot tutor almost gave me 10. then for some weird reason, he decided to change his mind and gave me 9. :p
finally got round to seeing raj about the choir equipment. it's done. he's satisfied with the equipment liao. but i think we're still missing 2 pitchpipes that CFA doesn't know about. so...still got tracking to do in the history of NUS choir.
after one hour of talking crap, fk has finally given his decree regarding midnight mass. we're to do a combined choir. i guess we can do that. i feel overwhelmed when i think of this coming december. i don't know where to start. i don't know what needs to be done. :p
er...what else? don't think there's anything. boring life. can't think.
mood: sianz
listening to: o holy night - celine dion
Friday, October 06, 2006
i hate my life
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
and some...
finished my MA1102 midterm test!!!!!!! yay! it wasn't as bad as i expected. it was miles better than MA1101 one year ago. ok, it wasn't like i knew how to do everything. i still haven't figured out how to find the limit as x approaches 5 for (sqrt(x^2 - 9) - 3)/(sqrt(x^2 - 16) - 4). so, 4 marks gone cos i couldn't even start that question. but that was the only one. the rest i think i'll get at least partial marks. haha! happy!
i'm kinda glad that i skipped calculus tutorial just now. cos at least i used the time to do last minute revision, get some shut eye (had super insomnia last night). so, in no mood right now to start MA2101 homework. tired.
and that's all i'm going to talk about now. till i've sorted out my thoughts about other stuff, adieu mes amies!
mood: tired, happy
listening to: broken wings - clay aiken
i'm kinda glad that i skipped calculus tutorial just now. cos at least i used the time to do last minute revision, get some shut eye (had super insomnia last night). so, in no mood right now to start MA2101 homework. tired.
and that's all i'm going to talk about now. till i've sorted out my thoughts about other stuff, adieu mes amies!
mood: tired, happy
listening to: broken wings - clay aiken
Sunday, October 01, 2006
i cut my hair!
yes, it's a big event! i haven't cut my hair for at least 2 years. bring out the champagne and chocolates!
Before:
After:
Nice?
Before:
After:
Nice?
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